Unfortunately in the workplace – whether in-person, hybrid, or remote – you may find out that a coworker is threatened by you.
Maybe you noticed they act differently around you. Or they interact via email or Slack awkwardly with you. They might even seem to be super competitive about work with you.
If you are noticing things like that or you get this uneasy feeling, it’s possible your coworker is jealous or intimidated by you, your skills, and work performance.
Often, you may feel caught off guard. After all, you are just trying to do good work, advance your career, and get along with your colleagues. But there can be that one coworker who feels insecure and threatened by you as a person.
In this guide, I’ll share with you the most common signs a coworker is threatened by you and some tips on how to deal with the situation professionally.
11 Signs Your Coworker is Threatened By You
Often, you will have an intuition about a coworker and that they may be threatened by you. And it’s especially easy to take notice if you work in-person on a frequent basis with him or her.
You can pick up on it working remotely too, but sometimes it might not be as obvious right away. Regardless, here are some common signs to pay attention to.
1. Constant Unhealthy Competition
There is nothing wrong with a bit of fun competition in the workplace. But when your coworker turns everything into competition or tries to outdo you directly any chance he/she gets, there is a good chance that person feels threatened.
2. Negative Body Language Around You
When you are around this coworker, keep tabs on their body language. Is it always negative and feels cold when talking to them or in a group setting? Things like crossing arms often, having facial expressions that indicate annoyance, avoiding eye contact, etc.
3. Always Disagreeing With You or Your Ideas
Not everyone will agree with your ideas all the time in the workplace. That’s fairly normal and can be healthy in the workplace to have open discussions on ideas or opinions.
But have you noticed one coworker in particular always seems to be against your opinions, decisions, or ideas? Like every single time? More often than not, that colleague of yours is potentially disagreeing with you on purpose.
4. Negative Views Toward Your Career Achievements
Career growth can be very important to people. And being recognized for their great work or growth is exciting. If you notice a coworker continually seems negative about your recognition or achievements, it’s possible they feel threatened and insecure.
Of course, you should be humble and not be gloating every chance you get either. Otherwise, you’ll start to annoy most coworkers. So check in with yourself first, in case you are actually the problem.
5. Gossiping or Spreading Rumors to Ruin Your Reputation
Workplace gossip is frustrating, especially if you are the one on the end of those rumors flying around the office.
One way you can tell if a coworker is jealous of you is that you find out they are the ones spreading false information about you. This person sees you as a threat and wants to tarnish your reputation at work. Yikes!
6. Constant Criticism of Your Work
Another common sign that a coworker is threatened by you is if they constantly criticize your work or projects.
Constructive feedback should always be welcomed in the workplace. The problem becomes when you notice the same coworker is always judging your work negatively, even when they aren’t involved or have no reason to comment on the work.
7. Try to Take Credit For Your Ideas or Work
A threatened or jealous coworker might also start to take credit for your ideas or work. This is more common than you think and it is very very frustrating. I’ve dealt with this myself in a previous role.
If this person works closely with you, they may eagerly talk in meetings first or with managers to appear it was their work or idea. This coworker is looking for an edge against you professionally because they probably feel insecure about their efforts compared to you.
8. Tries to Act Like Your Boss
You might notice this coworker begins to bark orders at you or act like your boss. And this person even starts to micromanage you as much as possible, even when you have no issues getting work done. This is just another way that a threatened coworker will try to assert themselves as superior to you.
9. Excludes You From Important Discussions or Projects
Another common sign a colleague is threatened by you is they start excluding you from relevant information at work.
This can be in the form of not adding you to important project emails, Slack messages, or not inviting you to meetings that you should be involved in. The goal here is to negatively impact your ability to do your job and feel separated from the rest of the team.
10. Constantly Interrupting You In Meetings or Calls
Whether you are in virtual meetings via Zoom or in-person, constant interruptions from the same coworker can indicate they want to take attention away from you. They might feel intimidated that you’ll get more recognition by the team or managers if you get a chance to talk.
11. Put You Down During Meetings or in Front of Managers
Besides potentially interrupting you in meetings, this threatened coworker also puts you down about your worth to the company.
Their goal is to knock you down and try to get others to think differently about you or the quality of your skills. Typically this is more aggressive and brazen as it could quickly backfire on your coworker.
Tips to Deal With A Threatened Coworker
Once you start to notice some signs that a coworker appears threatened by you, it’s time to take some action.
Of course, there is a chance the colleague is unaware of what their actions suggest. But 99% of the time they know it and they might even gaslight you to think it’s all in your head when you talk to them.
But you do want to approach this professionally. Otherwise, you could jeopardize your career or cause more tension among your other colleagues. Here’s what you can do to manage this workplace situation.
Look at your own behavior.
I’m a big fan of self-reflection, especially in the workplace. Before jumping into the other next steps, analyze your own mannerisms and how you act around this coworker.
Are you bragging about your work, career growth, talking in a condescending way, or being annoying at work?. It’s possible your personality and how you interact or talk is triggering your coworker.
Stay professional.
You may feel pretty angry about this coworker and rightfully so. But always keep your cool and professionalism intact. Your goal is to not escalate the situation with more negative emotions. Keep the focus on your work and performance.
And any good managers and coworkers will take notice of the coworker who is misbehaving or attacking you professionally and be on your side. Hopefully your conversation and having empathy can lead to a great discussion and resolution.
Approach the offending coworker.
Confrontation can be anxiety inducing for many. But you should stand up for yourself in a calm, but professional manner. Ask to chat with the coworker, share your feelings and concerns about how they are impacting you.
Document everything.
Start writing down dates, times, and things about these incidents from that coworker. And especially when it is impacting your work, career, or reputation. This can be important evidence if you need to escalate further to a manager or human resources.
Build internal support.
Build good relationships with other coworkers. When you do that, you build a work network that can distract you and be the support when you need it most. Plus, these coworkers can be there to speak up for you and verify your good work.
Seek out career guidance.
Do you have a mentor? Maybe a former colleague you are very close with? Utilize a trusted friend and professional that you can get advice from about your situation. It can give you new perspectives and ways to approach the situation.
Move on from the employer.
If no progress is being made and HR is not being supportive either, you may be in a toxic workplace. Even if you do genuinely love your job, it might be time to spruce up the resume and look for a new opportunity. No job is worth constant stress and others putting you down.
Final Thoughts
Every potential situation where a coworker is threatened or jealous by you is unique. So your approach to handling the matter will be up to you. But the tips above can help you navigate these awkward and frustrating situations.
It’s also important to remember that not everyone will always like you. Sometimes even if you are the nicest person, someone will just not care for you. And that’s something we all should accept.
But you shouldn’t feel bullied or like someone is out to sabotage your career because of jealousy either. Finding a mutual and professional understanding will make a better work environment.
About Todd Kunsman
Todd is the founder of Remote Work Junkie and has been featured in numerous publications like Business Insider, HuffPost, CNBC, and more. He’s been a remote work advocate for close to a decade and has been working remotely full-time for 5+ years. He’s also a marketing, personal finance, and music nerd 🤓
